My friend and I went to the Renn Fest today. It was a LOT of fun. Afterwards, we came home and had dinner, and then we sat down and finished writing this story, which we had started before dinner. It initially started as a sentence story, where I did a sentence and then she did a sentence, but then it sort of progressed to chunks of dialogue and the ensuing description of events. You'll see. But we sometimes tagged onto each other's quote with another sentence. Like, at one point, one guy's line is half her idea and half mine. So... yeah. Here it is! (it's supposed to be funny and we're probably not going to continue it after tonight, so don't be thinking you're going to see this again, because you probably won't.)
The Sentence Story
By KnitterWriterBlogger and KnitterWriterBlogger's BFF
On September 25, 2010
After the Renn Fest.
Hooray!
(KnitterWriterBlogger was first.)
Once upon a time there was a girl named Enya. She met someone by the name of Willow at the Renaissance Festival. Willow and Enya worked in adjacent shops; Willow had a weaponry shop and Enya had a clothing shop. Willow met Enya while on their lunch break at the Steak on a Stake booth. Willow greatly respected any girl who could eat Steak on a Stake, and he respected Enya more because she managed it in a corset and that she ordered a non-diet soda. She found it to be funny how when he tried to eat his steak, half fell on part of his shirt because he was trying to play it too cool around her. Willow was very nervous around Enya, for she was very pretty, but he had no way of knowing that Enya disliked pickup lines of any sort, regardless of whether or not they had a medieval connotation.
So, this is what he said to her upon meeting her: “Oh fair maiden, doth thou knoweth where one might find a more becoming shirt?”
“Yes,” Enya told him, “But if you buy one from me it’ll still cost you thirty bucks.”
“Why’s that?”
“As far as I know there’s no employee discount, and I’m not favoring anybody,” Enya replied, adding in her head, regardless of how attractive they think they are.
“Well, that’s a bit mean…can’t I change your mind at all?”
“Does this mean you don’t have enough cash?”
“Nah, I just thought I’d try my luck – especially as my luck was good enough to bring me to you today.”
“Well, if your luck is good enough, then you’ll have a replica of Sting to trade for a clean shirt, and if it’s not, then may I suggest that you go to Firefly Fantasy?”
“Lucky for me, I do – however, it costs more than thirty bucks for the metal version.”
“Well, then, Firefly Fantasy is down by the Globe Theater, but I’m not sure they stock men’s sizes, come to think of it.”
“You hurt me deeply.”
“Because I don’t want my merch having more barbecue sauce on it than necessary?”
“Oh, well; I can make it through the day like this.”
“Good luck with that,” Enya said, “But a word of advice: work on your pickup lines.”
“I was trying nothing of the sort,” he said, pretending to be hurt, “But you are rather dazzling, by the way.”
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere,” Enya told him, turning back into her shop, “But Sting will get you a new shirt, and five bucks will get you some portable laundry detergent.”
“Fine, come with me and I’ll get you the sword.”
Ten minutes later, Enya had a replica of Sting, Frodo’s sword, on her belt, along with its scabbard, and Willow had a clean shirt (Enya had taken mercy on him and given him one of the less hideous ones.)
“So, what’s your name anyway?” Willow asked, leaning over the barrier between their booths a few minutes later while there was a lull in business.
“Enya,” she told him shortly, “And do you have a name, Armor Boy?”
“I like that name, just call me that, and I’ll be happy.”
“Yeah,” Enya said sarcastically, “When Grandma calls tonight and asks if I’ve made any friends here, I’ll say, ‘Yes, Grandma, my New Best Friend Turned Booth Mate’s name is Armor Boy.’”
“I’m sure she’ll be very impressed. It’s not every day that you meet someone as careful as to handle this stuff safely.”
“And it’s not every day that you meet someone whose name sounds like a Superhero Identity.”
“Yeah, I’m just cool like that.”
Just then, Willow’s assistant, Bob, came up and jabbed him in the ribs, whispering, “dude, your lunch break ended ten minutes ago. Stop flirting and get back to work – some dude out here wants to see the double knives.”
“Fine, fine, but could you tell her that my name is Armor Boy and to leave it at that while I take care of him?”
Bob relayed the message, to which Enya replied, “Yeah, right. And who are you? Chain Mail Man?”
“You know, I like that name more than anything, Sweetheart.”
“What is it with men and metal-related, sarcastically-implied nicknames?” Enya wondered aloud.
“Don’t know. I just don’t favor my real name too highly.”
“Maybe you should take your own advice,” Enya suggested. “Stop flirting and get back to work.”
“Sure. But – a little FYI – keep working on Armor Boy. He’ll come clean if you wear him down enough.”
Enya was relieved when she had to turn her back on ‘Chain Mail Man’ and answer a teenage girl’s question about prices. The teenage girl was persistent in trying to find something cheap, yet beautiful too, so she was distracted for over half an hour – which made Willow lonely, as his booth calmed down.
Eventually, Willow wandered over to Enya’s booth, where the teenage girl was inspecting the bodices with a critical eye and refusing to pull one that was above twenty dollars.
“May I be of any assistance, my ladies?”
Enya looked over at him with a slight smirk. “You think you can handle bodices, Armor Boy?”
“Sure. My younger sister surprisingly thought that I was good at this clothes selection thing.”
The girl turned around with a dark blue bodice with yellow brocade in her hand. “Willow, that was years ago,” she snapped. “And I think this one’s good,” she added to Enya. “Fifteen bucks?”
Before Enya could reply, Willow glared at his sister as he said, “Sakura, why are you so mean? Anyway, you know I don’t like that name. So stop calling me that!”
Enya hid a giggle behind her hand. “Sakura, that’s fifteen dollars, and please don’t have a row, it’s bad for business,” she said.
Sakura sighed. “Fine.” She turned and headed for the cash register with Enya. As they made the transaction and Willow left for the Weaponry Department, Sakura murmured to Enya, “Where’d he get Armor Boy? That’s a lot more embarrassing than Willy Whee.”
Willow spun around. “I heard that!” he called over. “Just call me Will, okay? Or Armor Boy…?”
“How old is he?” Enya asked Sakura. “One would think that a guy in his early twenties would object to superhero names.”
“Well, I haven’t ever known him to have a name like that, so I guess that he just must like you a lot. Either that, or he’s just thankful to have a nickname that he won’t be teased too much about – well, at least by most people aside from myself, of course.”
“Well, he only got the nickname today,” Enya said. “Long story with bad pickup lines.” She handed Sakura her change.
“Thanks, and yeah, there’s a reason why he hasn’t had a girlfriend yet, even though he’s twenty-three. But he’s getting better…I think…Bye!” She dashed off before Enya could reply…
As the booths were closing up for the night, Willow offered Enya a ride home – “You look like you could use a lift,” were his exact words.
“Hmm, I’ll tell you my decision when we get to the car park. By the way, it’s a shame that you aren’t better at pick-up lines, ‘cause you aren’t exactly ugly…”
“What’s with your aversion to guys, anyway?” Willow asked, falling into step beside Enya as they wound their way out of the fairground. “Bad relationship?”
“Something like that. Oh, and have you really never had a girlfriend before?”
“That’s irrelevant,” Willow said shortly. “So what about the ride?”
“Why not? It beats the bus. Just no trying anything romance-y or you will regret making that trade earlier,” Enya replied.
“Do I really take you as that kind of a guy?” he asked as he stopped in front of a dark blue SUV. “This is it.”
“Most dudes don’t wear skirts, dude,” Enya reminded him. “23rd and 4th, by the way,” she added as they got into the car.
“Hey – I lost a bet to Bob, okay…?”
“Chain Mail Man? He didn’t seem smart enough to think in big enough quantities for a bet.”
“Well, he’s actually pretty smart – for the most part. Anyway, you live with your grandmother?”
“I don’t live with my grandma, but she calls every other weekend. What was the bet?”
“The outcome of the Redskins game.”
“That’s not until tomorrow,” Enya said matter-of-factly. “What bet did you lose today?”
“You don’t want to know,” he said, blushing.
“It’s about lunch today, isn’t it?”
“Was I wearing a kilt then? Yes.”
“And you bet whether or not I’d talk to a guy in a kilt?”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“So why won’t you tell me the bet, if it won’t affect me?”
“Cause, it didn’t turn out well for me even though I didn’t take the dare…”
“Oh, so you were betting who Sakura would berate first, is that it?”
“No…”
“You were betting whether I’d ask for Sting or the Orc Sword?”
“Didn’t we just go over this? It wasn’t to do with you.”
“Oh, was it whether the person at the Steak on a Stick place would correct you for wearing the kilt?”
“Just stop before you hurt yourself.”
“I thought it had nothing to do with me.”
He just glared at her. “Fine, I’ll tell you, but you’re not allowed to tell anybody, not even your Grandma,” Willow said shortly, and Enya nodded in agreement. “Okay, well, I said to Bob yesterday, ‘I bet you’d be too chicken to mess with our old football team’, when we saw them practicing yesterday. He said, ‘If I do, will you wear a kilt tomorrow?’ Like an idiot, I agreed.”
“So he went out on the field and…?” Enya prompted.
“Not even. He went into the changing rooms while as they were finishing up practice and grabbed all of their clothes. Before any of the jocks could put two and two together, he had tossed me the pile and the jocks mistook me for the prankster. Thus, I did a lot of running and begging for my life yesterday…”
“And so you’re wearing a kilt because Bob decided he’d be a jerk?” Enya asked. “’s not the end of the world.”
“I know. But the taunting and bruises weren’t exactly fun. Why do you think I was insisting on a black long-sleeved shirt earlier?”
“As I recall, getting a brand-new shirt of mine seemed to be better than having sauce all down your front for the rest of the day, OR going to Firefly Fantasy to get a little kid’s shirt instead.”
“Neither of those were my motivations. I just wanted to try and get to know you better – but my plan failed because I was a wimp,” he confessed.
“Well, this is sort of getting to know you better, isn’t it?” Enya said, finally starting to take to Willow. “And it’s quicker to take Elm Street to 23rd, by the way.”
“Danke shun,” he replied in German while trying to impress her, “And, yeah, so why don’t you tell me something about yourself?” He put on his turn signal and motioned for her to take the lead.
“Pelin pedi edhellen,” she said.
“Eh…? Sorry, I don’t believe they taught that language in my schools. But it sounds cool. Is it Gaelic?”
“It’s Sindarin,” Enya replied. “Common language of Tolkien’s elves. Based on old Finnish or old Welsh, I believe. I’ve studied it since high school.”
“Would you be willing to teach me?”
“Not right now,” Enya said. “My house is on the left. I’ll bring my Sindarin book tomorrow, though.”
“Cool,” he replied to the book comment, but when he parked and saw the house, his calm expression changed to one of awe. “This is where you live?” he exclaimed. “You aren’t suddenly going to tell me that you’re a Cullen by any chance?”
“No,” Enya sighed. “Grandma insisted I move in here. It was her house for most of her life, and she moved in to my parent’s house the same year I finished college. I rent out three rooms for some spare money. Working the Renn Fest circuit isn’t exactly profitable when it’s only for eight weeks.”
“Is it my imagination, or do you not sound like you like it here?”
“The Renn Fest circuit is fine. The town is fine. It’s the hugeness of the house that bugs me.”
“Can’t you do anything to make it more enjoyable for yourself? After all, home is where the heart is supposed to be, isn’t it?” He added in his thoughts, ‘though, my heart is drifting from my home to you…’
“That’s why I rent the rooms. It adds a bit of life to the house as well as some extra income.”
