Dear Calculus,
First of all, thank you for letting your AP exam being not as difficult as I thought it would be. I know that isn't exactly the best thing to say, considering that I'm now trying to break up with you, but thanks anyway. I did study up on what you might throw at me (since you frequently had problems during the relationship, I thought you'd probably bring them up again when this ended), which helped, but still. You still had to bring up particle functions, didn't you?
But enough of the past; I must address our plans for our future. Calculus, it HAS been nice knowing you, but I fear I must move on. If you let me do well enough this morning to let me get a 4 or a 5, that means that today is goodbye. My sincerest apologies, but I can't say I'll miss you too much. Admit it, Calc - you and the rest of your math friends have a lot of problems, and you expect everyone else to solve them. Can't you grow up and solve them yourselves?
Of course, if I become a business major, then we will be having frequent lunch dates and long nights where you give me more trouble than I think you are worth. I may avoid becoming a business major for that very reason. After all, I found your limits; you know you found mine when I did not go to sleep until half past midnight several nights in a row. You know you were at the bottom of that.
But, then again, I might change in college, in the two years before we might have to reunite. You might change, too. After all, I spent a good part of this year with you trying to figure out the rate at which your many girlfriends (often named X, Y, and T, and sometimes R) changed, and trying to figure out how they were before they changed, and what they became after they changed. Maybe YOU (or even U) are the reason that they seemed to alter so much - maybe you were trying to get into the nitty gritty of them at their most derivative that they chose to break up with you.
Either way, count me among your lost loves for now. If we meet again, I hope that you will have matured enough to provide some sort of function in future endeavors, as I attempted to provide some help for your current problems.
I can't say I'll miss you. If I become a business major, I hope that we will be able to have a very professional relationship, and not let our mutual irritation (my irritation of your constant need to get to everyone's limits, and your irritation that I sometimes neglect you and refuse to go to the limit with you; I'm sorry, girls don't work that way) get in the way of working professionally together. By that point, I hope you'll have moved on from X, Y, T, and R. They aren't worth thinking about too much, and it hurts relationships if you moon over the old ones. Don't think about U too much, either; he's the sort of guy nobody likes for long. After all, he's a part of you, whether you know it or not.
Until we meet again,
Knitter
