Reflection-Mulan

Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter
Can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see
That if I were truly to be myself
I would break my fam'ly's heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?


I seem to be on a Mulan Song Craze. Even though the song that's playing is the Cha Cha Slide.

I'll make a man out of you-Mulan

Let's get down to business--to defeat the Huns.
Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man out of you

Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your center
You are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man out of you!

I'm never gonna catch my breath
Say good-bye to those who knew me
Boy I was a fool in school for cutting gym
This guy's got 'em scared to death
Hope he doesn't see right through me
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!

Be a man
You must be swift as the coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive
Heed my every order and you might survive
You're unsuited for the rage of war
So pack up, go home, you're through
How could I make a man out of you?

Be a man
We must be swift as the coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Be a man
We must be swift as the coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon


We got to sing it in English class!!! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophomore year. Wow.

Well, I really can't believe that I'm now a Sophomore in high school. I really can't. It seems like just yesterday I was thinking how it would be a million years before my brother was a senior and I was a sophomore, and yet here we are. My brother is a senior and I'm a sophomore. How time flies.
Well, my mom just got a new DVD/ CD burner thingie, which is really nice because the one built into the computer doesn't really work that well. And right now, I have FINALLY gotten the chance to upload the footage from Family Camp, even though it's been a week since Family Camp. And it has been quite a week.
I like my classes, overall. Mind you, by June I'm probably going to be saying that I can't wait until summer because I can't STAND another second of chemistry and algebra and whatever happened to ancient civilizations, because I would be beyond caring. But as I'm currently not beyond caring just yet, I guess I should probably still be caring and wondering what happened to ancient civilizations and stuff in chemistry. Chem is actually kind of interesting. On Friday we did this really cool lab with FIRE!!! And in Ancient Civ we did drawings with in groups and then tacked them up on the wall and tried to guess what everyone else's drawing was. My group did a sort of favorite memories type thing, all rolled into one dude. We gave him a Mickey Mouse hat, because one of my friends went to Disney World, and we gave him a baseball shirt because the other friend liked playing baseball, but nobody guessed what mine was. Nobody suspected the flowers might be significant, signifying the flowers at my cousin's wedding. I caught them. So that's my story.
But I still don't get how algebra is gonna help me in real life. Seriously.

A Confession

Well, in church a while ago, the Senior Pastor admitted that he really liked the movie "that thing you do-" the Tom Hanks one with Liv Tyler that is about this (fictional) band called The Wonders that's set in the 1960's. And I saw it. And I'm in love with it. I don't care that it's weird or anything like that. I know it is. But it's freaking AWESOME. And now I have the title song stuck in my head. It's getting kind of annoying, but I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!
A while ago, I made a list of Movies and Musicals I Want to See. I don't remember all of it, but I remember some of it:
1. the Fantasticks
2. State Fair
3. The Karate Kid
4. The Matrix trilogy
5. Adam (not yet in theaters)
6. Confessons of a Shopaholic
7. The DaVinci Code *once I've finished reading it*

SCHOOL

well, we're back at school. The workload seems okay, so far, because we're only in the first week, and it'll probably get worse next week. Already I have had to write two essays (one was a legit essay, and one was just like, "TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF!") and actually have to use my free block productively. We've only been in school three days and I seriously hope that the workload increase will not be absolutely horrid, because I'll seriously kill something if it gets too bad. I'm not kidding. And even though I have only had one 8:20 class, I already hate it. Not the class itself, because chemistry is actually kind of interesting, but waking up and eating was really annoying because my dad was bugging me about FINISHING eating and said I was putting too much sugar in my coffee. Well, I'm SORRY if I need caffienne when I wake up now, because I am going to be going to school earlier than I ever have in my life. It's called HIGH SCHOOL, dad. And even though YOU went to Military School, I'm going to Hippie High and we do things differently. I am defienetely not taking an 8:20 next year. On the other hand, I'm really liking my English teacher, because she doesn't super over analyze everything. My English teacher last year made us analyze and discuss "Lord of the Flies" WAY too much last year, and my English teacher this year said we're not going to go too deep into "Into Thin Air." YAY!

oh yeah

And by the way, I know I said that I caught some of it on video. I'm going to do a legit video (like with music and photos and everything) at some point.

the summary!

Well, I said I'd summarize when the song was done, and the song is done, so I'll summarize what happened at family camp. Mind you, I caught a lot of it on film, with the aid of my mother and my brother.
Anyway, Friday. We arrived at West River. It's a really awesome Methodist Retreat Center. They have just finished building a new dining hall, which is really nice on the inside, but on the other hand, it takes up a lot of of what used to be a really awesome field that was useful for football, ultimate Frisbee, and generally letting your kids run around like the lunatics you know they are. Anyway, now most of the field is gone to the Snazzy New Dining Hall. It really is snazzy, I just wish it had been behind the old one so we could have more space to run around crazy. Anyway, we get there, and then we have a cookout. And we eat food. And I film some of the kids running around crazy in the now-limited space, in order to upload it to the computer, slow it down, and set it to "chariots of fire," which I have not done yet. Anyway, I also interrogate some people ("so, _______, why are you psyched about family camp?" etc), and then eat food, and then film/ interrogate some more. Then we go inside for some icebreaker games/ make fools of ourselves/ have me film everyone looking really stupid and then putting it into a video. Then we go have a campfire, which usually happens on Saturday night, but it was decided that in order for more of the really little kids to get hyped up on chocolate and marshmallows, it was moved to Friday night. I really wish I had not dropped off the video camera in the room when I got my sweatshirt, because it would have been really funny to get a video of everyone singing, even if you could not see them. It would have been hilarious as a voice over.
Anyway, Saturday we wake up and then go eat and then hang out. I should have done some more filming, but I was lazy and I did not. Then we ate lunch and hung out some more. My dad and brother came for the day on Saturday, and I interrogated them. On film. After dinner, there was the square dancing, which was really fun. We had given an open invitation to the people from the other groups that were at West River at the same time we were, so some of them showed up and it was fun. My mom and brother and dad did some filming and photography during the dancing, because as much as I wanted to be a filmmaker, I wanted to actually get some exercise that day. That and the fact that I have a reputation for doing every dance for like three years now, so I COULD NOT not dance. Then, after the dancing, some people went to bed, then some people hung out and played games. Some other people and I played boggle, which was really fun.
This morning, I had staked out a spot before getting my food for breakfast, so I ended up sitting with a bunch of people from the other church. They were really nice, actually. We had a decent conversation about various things. Then I left because I had promised I would tag along with the little kid's nature walk, and I wanted to do some filming, etc, and I wanted to make sure I had a decent battery on the camera. So we did the walk, and then we did a church service out in the same area where the campfire circle is, and then we hung out and I interrogated people, and then we did a circle, and then we went home. The end.

family camp

Well, I am back from family camp. And this means that, however much I wish it was not, school is starting in two days. Family camp was AWESOME. However, family camp means school is soon. But more about that later. In a new post, I will summarize what happened at family camp, but first, I am going to finish listening to this AWESOME song from Pirates of the Caribbean that is playing on the Cinema Music Channel, available from Verizon FiOS. "I See Dead People In Boats," Hans Zimmer, 2007, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.
It is over now.

ah, the joys of the FRIKKIN COLD!!

Well, I picked up a shift from someone at the pool, which means my work total for this week alone, just at the pool, is 25 hours, which is, I think, more than I had in all for the last pay period. Thus, I am getting a LOT of money this pay period. However, there still is the issue of IT'S FREAKING COLD OUT!!! And the issue of I'M GETTING FROZEN SOLID EVERY TIME I GET OUT OF THE POOL AFTER SWIMMING THE LANE ROPES!!! I'm serious, I have not been this cold during work since I had to shadow people way back in May. And I keep forgetting that it's going to be cold, because my shifts always seem to start at two, and it's reasonably warm out at two in the afternoon on a somewhat sunny day. So I'm always cold by the time my mother comes to drop off my dinner. Note to self: PUT SWEATSHIRT IN BACKPACK BEFORE LEAVING!!! On the other hand, on Monday, we were getting paid to do absolutely nothing for a while because there was nobody at the pool. It was crazy. But it was fun. That's the way it's been this week at the pool, because the weather is cooling down and so only the swimaholics and the eight and unders are going swimming. I got to clean the bathrooms almost by myself last night, too. I was the only girl guard on the 2-9 shift, so I got to clean the bathrooms mostly by myself. The snack bar girl helped a bit, though, which helped. And I was STILL done at almost the same time as the guys. I would have beaten them, except they had the squeegee, so I couldn't squeegee until they were done. But I was close!! That's what matters: I was CLOSE!

I love slow days at the pool

Well, here in The Last Week Before School Starts, I am working almost EVERY day this week (with the exception of Sunday, Friday, Saturday, and possibly Wednesday), and I am NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! On the other hand, I AM getting paid. And since it IS september, and it IS only about 70 degrees out, yesterday was pretty slow. Which was nice. We went one guard the entire time yesterday, and there was one period where we were running NO guards because there was nobody there except for us. So, basically, we were getting paid to play Bingo and hang out. It was awesome. I hope it keeps up like this, so we can get paid to do nothing worthwhile. Which is nice. AND I got to swim the lane ropes across the pool when we closed the high dive, which I have not done in FOREVER, and which I LOVE doing. I do not know WHY I love swimming the lane ropes (maybe I miss swimming. I don't know.), but I do. It really makes my day. Especially when it's hot out. On the other hand, when I got out, it got cold ten minutes later and I had to ask my mom to bring a sweatshirt with dinner. The manager ate most of my dinner because I was not hungry because of the fact that I had gotten some snacks from the snack bar. I really love slow days. I really do. On the other hand, sometimes it isn't as fun to get paid to hang out and do nothing. Especially when "nothing" really is nothing. But for the most part, it's fun.

well...

we have to read "into thin air" for English. It's good. It's just work, and it's required, and I have to give up my new iPod if I don't finish it and finish the essay that I have to write by today. I'm pacing myself, and I've been doing a git better than we expected, so I'm taking about fifteen extra minutes on my break. It's read for an hour, then chill for half an hour. Going now.

superhero story!!

Chapter 1

I was raised by superheroes. I didn’t know when I was a kid, of course. I thought all moms could seem to be everywhere at once and be across the house in seconds, and I thought all dads could pick up the refrigerator in case a jellybean rolled under it. But then was that period when you’re around eight and you’re at your friend’s house every Friday for a sleepover, and when I learned that my best friend’s parents couldn’t do those things, I wondered why. Then I went to my other friend’s house, and it turned out her dad couldn’t move the kitchen table without help either, and that got me thinking-what if it was my parents, not theirs, that were weird?
Like most eight-year-olds that get struck with ideas like those while at a friend’s house, by the time we had decided on a movie to watch, I had completely forgotten about what I thought of their friend’s parents when it comes to the matter of moving tables and over ground. The thoughts stayed in the back of my head for the next several years.
Over the next several years, though, was when my mom started acting really weird. It was the kind of weird that makes you wonder whether the person is feeling all right, but are too freaked out by the change to ask them. She was clearly disturbed by something, but she wasn’t sharing anything with me, which was odd, too. Usually when she had a problem she asked advice from me and my dad at dinner. But after that weird change, she never talked about the annoying people at work or the paper she had to write or anything like that. She also seemed a lot more annoyed at me, which, of course, got me wondering whether I was the one that was making her act strangely. She was tense all the time, as if she was a volcano expected to blow over at any minute. Then, after a long time of the strange behavior, the volcano erupted. It was the year I turned fourteen, and I came home all happy because it was my birthday and it had been a good day overall. Just as I put my key in the door, my mom yanked it open and stormed off to her car, carrying her suitcase and looking very annoyed at something.
“Mom, where are you going?” I asked, startled.
“Away from here,” was her sharp reply as she strode haughtily down the walk, carrying her suitcase in one hand and a duffel bag in the other.
“Why? What’s wrong with life here?” I wondered.
“It’s not the life, it’s the people,” she replied in an annoyed tone, going back up the walk to get the rest of her belongings.
This confused me slightly. I could see the disappointment in her face when she looked at me, but I couldn’t see what was so horrible about me. “Why?” I asked blankly, for want of a better question.
“I feel too confined,” she explained shortly. That was helpful. Not.
“Why do you feel confined?”
“I have power. I’m not allowed to use it. End of story.”
“But why are you leaving me and dad here?” I followed her back down to the car as she carried some more stuff.
“It’s because of you that I’m leaving,” she told me, turning and facing me properly for the first time that day. Her words stung. Even though I knew that she didn’t like me, I didn’t see anything wrong with me.
“Because of…..me?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you leaving because of me? Am I really that bad of a daughter?”
“It’s not that you’re a bad daughter,” she explained in a tone that indicated that it had everything to do with that. “It’s just that….well, like I said, I have power and I’m not able to use it here.”
“Are you leaving because I don’t have power, too?” I wondered. The thought was a mere whim, but for all I knew, that could be the actual reason she was so annoyed.
She sighed, a long, miserable, when-is-this-child-going-to-get-a-brain type sigh.
“Listen, Jackie,” she said in a voice that clearly said that she still wanted me alive against her better judgment. “Have you ever been in the room off the garage?”
“No,” I said, startled. Of all the things to think of asking at this particular moment, why did my mom pick rooms off garages in generic homes? “I thought I wasn’t allowed in there.”
“Well, it’s not a matter of permission if you can go into a room in your own house,” my mom said testily. She clearly wasn’t enjoying the fact that not everyone in the world is as quick-witted as she was. “Anyway, if you want to know what’s really going on, have a look in there. Your dad’s got quite a collection of…stuff in there that you might want to take a look at. I don’t want to be around when he catches you snooping, though. I’ll bet you’d have figured it out eventually, but I’m not going to wait around forever for…things to happen that might not happen at all. That’s another reason I’m leaving. Goodbye.”
With that, she slammed the trunk closed and got in the front seat, slamming the car door behind her. I stood and stared after my mother, wondering what in the world had gotten into my mother’s brain. Leaving because of me. The room off the garage. The room off the garage? Until that moment, I hadn’t known the garage even had a door other than the door that led inside. I walked towards the front door very slowly, thinking about what had just happened, and not wholly accepting the fact that my mom had just left for what was most likely going to be a very long time, unless something dramatic happened to bring her back, which wasn’t going to happen any time soon.
When I got inside, even though I don’t consciously remember opening the door or setting down my backpack, I decided to find out what exactly was in the room off the garage and why mom thought I should go see it. Dad wouldn’t be back for ages-it was Friday, and I could get home early because I had two free classes at the end of the day-a scheduled free period and then homeroom, where we never really did anything anyway and were allowed to leave early if we wanted-so I had time to look. So that’s what I did.
I proceeded downstairs and through the door of the laundry room to the garage. When I got there I stopped. Where was this alleged room?
I looked around. A couple of bikes, some recycling bins, and one of the trash cans that you took down to the curb every Wednesday were all I saw. No door. No opening. No nothing except for the piles of crud that had accumulated over the years.
My eyes went back to the bikes in the corner, and as my eyes traveled left, there was a door that was very hard to see from this angle. I guess I had never paid attention to it because my purple mountain bike that I never rode was leaning against it. I went over and moved my bike out of the way and opened the door.

Chapter 2

Inside was a room, just as Mom had said there would be. But I hadn’t expected to see what I actually saw.
As far as I knew, my dad had never been a big fan of mementos and talismans and things like that. So the fact that my mom had said, “Your DAD has got quite a collection,” was just as surprising as what he had been collecting.
Dad had a huge collection of newspaper clippings. As I walked farther into the room, a whole new side of my father opened up to me. That wasn’t only because of the fact that he had collected this many clippings over the years, but also the pictures on the clippings. It was amazing. Hundreds of little bits of news and headline articles were around the room. All the pictures showed the same guy-a tall, majestic superhero in a suit with black sleeves and a bright purple body, with a black mask that covered his eyes and part of his nose and stayed on without one of those annoying little elastic straps in the back. But why did my mom want me to see this?
I looked further. POWERFUL SAVE read a headline over the superhero with a girl in his arms who had fainted in the glory of being touched by someone this famous, by the looks of it. SHOW OF FORCE read another, with a picture of the superhero waving and grinning and holding what looked like a robot’s head under one arm. Why did my mom want me to see a bunch of pictures of some famous superhero from bygone days? I could only find the date on the headline articles, because the smaller pictures and stories seemed to come from the middle of the paper, but they all seemed to be at least twenty years old.
I inspected an article titled The Powerful Hero. It looked like a biography, but I couldn’t be sure.

Of the many superheroes saving the world today, none is more renowned or respected as Power. Power, who can lift objects many times his own weight, is one of the leading villain-fighters in our community and, it is arguable, in the world. He is best known for the capture of Madrigal, the mad scientist who lures people of authority and importance to sleep by singing a very beautiful lullaby and for the imprisonment of Yin and Yang, the super villain duo that can replicate themselves at will.
Of course, Power could not have taken down Yin and Yang, or many of his very numerous opponents, without considerable help. Before her retirement from the superhero business in 1986, Power’s longtime friend and sidekick, Force (force fields), completed a very impressive duo. In fact, some argue that Force and Power were the best duo that ever lived. Many who are arguing against them say that it was either Yin and Yang, or Power and his next teammate, Runner (super speed), who banded together with Force just before her retirement, along with the hard-to-hit Dodge. However, that remains to be seen.

The article ended there. I stared at the words, amazed. Superheroes actually existed. But as I inspected the recurring grin of the many photos, I started to recognize the look in Power’s eyes. It resembled my father, in the rare times he smiled. Power’s eyes were exactly the same shape, too.
Was it possible that my father was this legendary superhero?
I decided that it was possible. I also decided that, even though it was possible, that didn’t mean it was true.
But, despite myself, I started thinking that, if my dad had some powers, then my mom must have had some, too. The conversation in the driveway supported that theory. I looked around the photos again. I decided that my mother was either Force or Runner. I was thinking she was Runner, because in the pictures where they were side-by-side, Force was almost as tall as my dad, whereas my mom only came up to his shoulder, like Runner did in the photos.
I heard a sound behind me, and I realized that although my mom had basically said that it would be okay if I was in here, my dad might say different. I quickly folded up the article I had read and shoved it into my pocket and I hurried out.

That night, however, I began feeling rather strange. I was sure I hadn’t eaten anything weird at all, except for my dad’s lame attempt at making hot dogs (they had been burnt to a crisp and after a bite each we mutually agreed to order Chinese instead). It wasn’t the stomach-achey type strange, though, it was more of a tingling that went on all over my body. It started at around eleven that night, in my fingers. I was reading a book and I got the same sort of feeling you get when your foot falls asleep. Then the tingling spread all over my body. I didn’t get what was going on, but I didn’t want to move because I wasn’t sure what would happen if I did. It stopped as suddenly as it had started, but I knew, from that point on, I was different in more ways than one.