I can't believe it's over...

Wow. The world premiere of "Benagridazir" is over. I cannot believe it's done. I really have yet to get my head around it. Honestly, it's kind of like... AAAHHH!!! I'm not sure whether to be happy about the time that I now have to read about dead Greek guys, do psychotherapy for mathematics, and study stuff that happened in the US fifty years ago, or to be sad that I no longer will have a connection to Piper, or to anyone else in the cast, or to just say goodbye to the show in general. It makes me exceedingly sad to say goodbye to Piper - I know it sounds weird to talk about my character as an actual person, but it feels like she is. I think she's too much a part of me to not be an actual person in some sense. Does that sound strange? I don't care if I'm going slightly mad - everyone needs to be slightly insane in order to survive.
Closing night went really well. I kept having this feeling that someone I knew from forever ago would come see the show, or that something amazingly epic would happen during or after the show or something, but it didn't.
Well, nothing EXCEEDINGLY epic.
The biggest thing that happened is that I got some mini motivational monologues because I was kind of nervous for some reason, and also none of the sound effects worked, so the lights were up for like three minutes before I went on for the first time, because I was waiting for the sound cue that didn't come.
Which sucked.
But whatever.
The show went on, and we survived, and it was wonderful.
The cast party was held at a minor character's house, and it was kind of amazing in its own right because her house is HUGE. They have a backyard the size of my house that contains a trampoline and a half-size basketball court.
Since it was warm out, we did the paper plate awards on the basketball court (I think it was also because that was the only well-lit area that could hold everybody).
We did paper plates a bit differently this time - instead of the director coming up with good paper plates for half the cast and lousy ones for the other half, she just announced who was getting the plate and had members of the cast suggest the award, and then she wrote down a few of them on the plate, so we each got seven warm and fuzzies on one paper plate award. It was also a good way to do warm and fuzzies without actually saying that we were doing warm and fuzzies.
For those of you who don't know what warm and fuzzies are... they're when you say lots of nice stuff about other people in your group; they usually happen on mission trips or at cast parties and stuff - places where people feel like they've become each other's unbiological family.
It tends to happen a lot with shows and, apparently, in movies - I think I read some Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder quote that supports the claim that your castmates are your temporary unbiological family.
And any other actor can probably vouch for me as well.

Two shows down...

Tonight was the mid-night. Last night was opening night. It was INSANE!!!
I feel like we had a LOT more energy last night than we did tonight, but tonight was generally better because we didn't rush too many of the lines.
Also, the love interest DID tell me to kiss him tonight (he forgot to last night). So yeah.
I think the bigger energy yesterday came from the fact that yesterday was opening night, and the general meh energy tonight is the fact that it's Middle Night. It's not closing night; it's not opening night. It's just... here. And we're just... performing.
True, there was probably a bigger crowd tonight than there was last night, but still. I feel like there was less anticipation tonight because we knew we could totally pull this shindig off.
And we DID pull it off.
And it was awesome.
I think my favorite part of the night was when I was hug-attacked by a bunch of my friends tonight - a few of them knew each other, but I was hug-attacked by like five friends within a few minutes of each other, so it was like, "ATTACK THE STAR!!! YAY!!!"
I was also told I had done well by several younger siblings and a lot of parents too, which was kind of... wow. The only time I've been told I've done well in a show by a younger sibling was when I had twelve lines as a robot in eighth grade. I wasn't a big part then, but I had to have the most character. I was a freaking tempramental ROBOT!!!
By the way, it was one of my most favorite (favoritest?) parts EVER. Except for this one, of course. :)

In other news, this is one of the few times that I didn't go to Silver Diner after a Friday show. I really don't feel like going - not only is it going to be loud and crowded and a hassle, AND I have no cash, I'm going to get back at midnight and then get like two hours of sleep and then run on complete adrenaline all day tomorrow, which really sucks.
I mean, running on adrenaline is fine, except when you have a three-hour rehearsal and also a closing performance in which you are the main character.
Yeah, adrenaline running? Not so fun then.

Opening NIGHT!

Well, tonight is opening night. I'm kind of psyched, but I'm also kind of nervous. I didn't say this earlier because I was in denial about it, but the love interest had to drop out last Saturday because of some family issues. He was replaced by the director's son, who is two years younger than me and clearly didn't want to do the role OR the show (probably partially because his mom wrote the show and was the director and was making him kiss someone). The son is good, but the awkward kiss scene... the awkwardness is still there, but it's a different sort of awkwardness - more like "Hi! I'm supposed to have a crush on/ kiss the director's son!" instead of "Hi! You're an attractive senior, and I'm actually sort of nervous around you! And now I have to kiss you! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"
But still, the show must go on. And so it's going on in five hours. I have to be here an hour and a half early, of course - I'll be arriving at six to change and do makeup before a 6:15 fight call.
And then the show goes up.
I'm still kind of in denial. It's really hard to believe that the show is going up. I mean, we only rehearsed for like a month and a bit. Having been in more school musicals than school plays, I'm used to having two-hour rehearsals nearly every day for a minimum of two months (usually around 2.5 months), and then three-hour rehearsals, then four-hour rehearsals, then five-hour rehearsals during tech week. But with this show, we did two-hour rehearsals two or three times a week for a month and a half, and then three- or four-hour rehearsals this week.
So part of the reason I'm kind of like "whoa, this is opening night" is because there wasn't as much buildup to it.
I mean, yes, there was buildup, but... yesterday, I got home at around seven thirty. During tech week of the musical, I got home at around ten.
I feel about the same amount of pressure for this show as I did for the musical, just in a different way. In this show, I'm one of two people who really drives the production, because I'm the main character. If I flub, I have to cover, and it's really awkward. In the musical, if I flub up, the choreography looks weird or props don't get taken onstage or something, and then the entire scene looks horrid because a minor actress missed something. Trust me, it happens.
So no pressure or anything.
Also, COME SEE THE SHOW!

Literary Update!

well... here is the Beginnings of the Fairy Godmother story. Hope you like it. It's nowhere near done, obviously, and I'm quite sure it's not going to be close to finished for a while. But here it is.

Chapter 1
One could say that the reason high school really sucks for the fantasy-loving girl is because it is definitely not like the fairy tales they read about as kids. There are no fairy godmothers that carry magic wands, no princes that can come along to sweep a hard working and deserving young lady off her feet and into a Wedding-Bound Happily Ever After. Life just does not work like that for most people.
For other girls, fairy tales are stuff to laugh at. And, honestly, I sometimes wish I could be you.
But for kids like me… fairy tales are the reason we're dorks. They are things to analyze from a literary perspective and to study for the archetypes and motifs and themes that come up. I have never really believed in fairy tales and happy endings; I have never really bothered fantasizing about getting carried off into a Happily Ever After. It just seems like taking the easy way out to let a man do all the dirty work.
If truth be told, I really wanted the girl to shove the prince off the horse, take the reins, and gallop off to do her best to save the world on her own terms at least once in at least one of the stories. The Savior of the World did not have to succeed; I just wanted a girl to attempt to fill the role for a change.
This would also be a wonderful time to point out that nowhere in any volume of Grimm’s tales, Andersen’s tales, and most volumes of folk tales does anything remotely like having a butt-kicking female exist.
Which, I might add, really sucks.

High school can suck, do not get me wrong – but what I've learned is that everyone could use a little magic. And, generally, I'm the one who has to provide that magic – it's an occupational hazard.
I know, I know – all you skeptics are saying, “Oh, fairy tales are just fiction” and “These fairy tales would never work out in the twenty-first century” and “Fairy Godmothers don't exist at all.” But you're wrong – I know that for a fact. I've already done enough to realize that how wrong the third statement is.
You see, I am a fairy godmother.

It all started when I walked into a tree on the last day of eighth grade.
Yes, a tree.
In the middle of the sidewalk.
Where did this tree come from?
I had no clue whatsoever.
But this tree changed my life.
Like most people would, I became very confused. Why was there a tree in the middle of a sidewalk? Why did it look like this particular tree had ALWAYS been in the middle of this very sidewalk, when I knew for a fact that it had not been there the day before?
And then a little man with a crooked nose, sagging skin, irate black eyes and a scraggly beard poked his head out of a knot in the tree and said in a deep voice that had a bit of a Brooklyn accent, “Oh, wonderful. She's here!”
“Um… what?” I said. This was even more confusing – this tree housed a little man, and both of them looked like they had been here since forever even though they most assuredly had NOT been in this very location twenty-four hours ago.
“You're here!” he cried again.
“Um… yeah…” I said. “Were you expecting me?”
“Of course we were,” the little man exclaimed with glee. “Why wouldn't we be?”
Um… because I don't know any little people who live in trees? And also, I don't know anyone who lives in a tree, period? And also, I have no idea who you are? “Uh… I think you have the wrong person…”
“You are Ericka Rose Dalnorn, address is 25 Rosenburg Street?” he confirmed.
Yeeesss…” I said slowly.
“Yes, we were expecting you,” he said briskly. “Come on in, and we shall get this interview started.”
“Um... like a job interview?” I asked cautiously. I was also becoming wary of the long-imprinted Mom-Quote: “do NOT enter anyone’s house if you don't know who they are.”
“What other sort of interview is there?” he answered.
“Uh…”
“Don't answer that. Come inside.” He disappeared from view and reappeared a few moments later from a small door near the base of the tree.
“Um, I didn't apply for any job. I think you have the wrong person,” I said as I ducked into the tree, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the situation.
“No, you are Ericka Rose Dalnorn, and you live on Rosenburg Street, and your appearance matches our descriptions. This meeting is scheduled.”
“Then why was I not informed of it?” I asked. I felt I had a right to know.
“Because your guardians are stupid humans. Take a seat anywhere.” He gestured around the room. Unfortunately, all the furniture looked as if it were better suited for someone more the size of – there’s really no other word for it – the dwarf, who was currently telling me that I had applied for a job.
“Now,” said the dwarf, settling himself on a small wooden rocking chair and giving me a critical look as he pulled out a clipboard, “Basic questions. Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No,” I said slowly.
“Do you have a best friend?”
“Yes.”
“Male or female?”
“Male.”
The dwarf gave me a sharp look. “Name?”
“Alexander James Nolanew.”
“Any romantic interest in Alexander James Nolanew?”
“No…” Alex and I had been friends since kindergarten, and nothing had changed since then. I mean, I had thought about liking him, but the idea died three seconds after it came into existence.
“I see,” the dwarf said skeptically and made a note on his clipboard. “Anyway… age?”
“Fourteen.”
“Hair…” he glanced up. “Straight and coppery. Eyes…”
“Hazel,” I said.
He squinted at me for a second or two. “Green. With glasses.”
“Hazel,” I insisted. “With glasses.”
“Oh, very well,” he sighed, then added something like, “Hazel-eyed blahblahblah my arse,” under his breath. The “blahblahblah” sounded kind of like “godmother,” but I wasn’t entirely sure. “Height…”
“Five foot seven and growing.”
“What height do you expect to be at in four years?” he inquired.
“Um… I don’t know. Five-nine, maybe?”
“It doesn’t have to be definite.”
“Then go with five-nine,” I decided.
“Body type…”
“Body type?” I repeated. “Why do you need to know my body type? I don’t even know what my body type IS.”
The dwarf gave me a long, searching look, as if he were sizing me up, which he probably was. “Hourglass,” he concluded after a few moments of staring awkwardly at my midsection. “And it is part of the archetype identification. It has no lasting effect on whether you get hired; it is only to identify which archetype you will receive.”
“Archetype identification?” I repeated. “WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?”
“Do you know nothing, Miss Dalnorn?” the dwarf asked in an exasperated tone.
“Apparently,” I answered in equal irritation. “Would you care to inform me, or do I have to figure it out for myself?”
“Well, since you're here, I guess I should be the one to tell you,” the dwarf mused. “Very well, then. Take a seat.”

Challenges and hilarosity

Hilarosity... hilariousness... hilarity? Whatever. Anyway, that essentially describes fight rehearsal yesterday. See, all our fights - or most of them - have gotten to the point where we just need to run them a few times for nit-picking stuff and then we're done.
Except for my last fight, which isn't really a fight.
So our fight choreographer, who also graduated from our school last year and is also kind of another director but not really, essentially turned 'fight rehearsal' into 'flirt rehearsal' for the last hour.
And NOT in a weird way!
She helped us run the scene with my last not-really-a-fight, where I have to flirt with someone.
I learned that I can't flirt to save my life.
Wait, I already knew that. Never mind.
Anyway, while the guys were practicing doing front shoulder rolls, she and I had a not-very-long and somewhat-intense discussion about WHY I couldn't tell someone they looked good shirtless without laughing my head off in nerves. This happened on Wednesday during rehearsal. Twice. (yes, one of my lines IS "you look really good with your shirt off") It was kind of annoying but also kind of funny. For the record, I don't know WHY I couldn't say it with a straight face.
But that's beside the point.
The point is, I got a challenge: today and tomorrow and every day/ rehearsal until the show, I have to go up to as many guys in the production as I can find and say some variant on "you look really good with your shirt off," and I have to keep a straight face while doing so. So far, I've said it to eight guys, and I only cracked up twice - one's reaction was really funny, and one was the guy I have to say it to in the actual production, and for some reason I couldn't keep a straight face, probably because I was so nervous.
But I'm getting better.
Hopefully tomorrow will not be as bad as Wednesday.
And hopefully tomorrow I won't crack up on the flirt scene either.
I just can't let myself slip into 'me' mode - I have to stay in CHARACTER, because that's what actors DO.
So far, this is the only show where I have had trouble consistently staying in character, simply because Piper pulls off things that I wouldn't do.
Like kissing someone I hardly know and flirting with a random, creepy-looking guard to get past them and kick their boss' butt.
And telling reasonably attractive guys that they look good shirtless.
Anyway, I'll get better. I hope.
And if I don't... then it's probably worth the laugh.

time... :P

I could be reading "The Odyssey." I could be looking up qualities of heroes. I could be doing precalculus. I could be studying the cold war for a test next week. I could be studying for a physics test next Friday. I could be doing a physics lab. But instead, I'm blogging!
See, the annoying thing about the end of the year - and maybe it's just the end of THIS year, or maybe it's just me - is that the all-grades show goes up in a week and a half, and this week and next week are the ones in which I have three tests, three worksheets, four (and a little extra) books to read of "the Odyssey," and nine full runs of the show, counting the performance days. It's kind of exhausting. At the same time, constant rehearsal is the reason I can keep my grades up. It may sound counter-intuitive, but it's true. See, with less time to do homework, I have less time to procrastinate. If I procrastinate less, then I get more homework done. If I get more homework done, I'm more likely to turn more homework in, which means I'm more likely to get good grades, which is more likely to get me into a good college, which is more likely to get me a good job, which... yeah.
Anyway, on a different note, you should ALL come see the all-grades show, because it shall be amazing and wonderful and fantabulous and full of complete and utter awesomeness. It'll be even more amazingly fantabulous if I ever get time to learn my fights! That would be wonderful!
We have another full run today, which means I'm going to be performing for almost all of the two hours we are going to be rehearsing. Wait... two and a half. Yay for almost-tech-week! It's a long and difficult time, but it's fun. Normally. Unless I don't get something to eat beforehand. Then it just sucks, because I'm irritated ALL THE TIME, which sucks.
However, I did bring my last prop today: girl scout cookies. Yes, girl scout cookies.
In the alternate universe into which I fall, they do not call them Thin Mints, or even cookies. They call them Dumplings. And I get to eat them. YAY!
I just hope they don't all get eaten backstage before show night.

rehearsals, run-throughs, and mothers

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! :D
Yesterday was the first full run of the all-grades show. It took all of the three hours we set aside for it, and it would've gone on longer, if we actually did scene 11. But we didn't do scene 11 because the teacher who plays my grandpa couldn't go to rehearsal, but we still went a bit over.
We had to block scene 5 and scene 10, and a lot of people were blanking on lines and missing their scenes and there was a lot of redistribution of lines because of people's repeated absences.
It was the first run, after all, which means that by nature it should take forever because it's the first full run, with all the exits and the entrances and the lines and the blocking and the stuff and the stuff and stuff. It was crazy.
I also learned that I get to do FOUR super-cool fights. I win two. Then I nearly die in the third one. Then I get revived and kick butt in a hand-to-hand fight. YAY!!! I think the only reason I very nearly die in the third fight is because if I don't, then the show would have no meaning or tension after intermission - the curtain goes down, and I'm lying dead with a bunch of bruises and some flesh wounds. (I'm not dead YET, though - I get better. 'tis only a flesh wound) Soooooo yeah. Woohoo!!!
The nature of the kiss changed again. First it was the mouth kiss, then it was a cheek kiss, now I aim for his cheek and he turns his head. I just want to get it OVER WITH so it's DONE. Even if the first time is on opening night, the awkwardness then will at least be genuine.
So that's my update for now.
:)

Greetings again!

I recently have become seriously into fairy tales, and I noticed how many times the princess relies on magical help to bail herself out.
And so I started another. Except the main character is a novice godmother who has no idea what she's doing. And Grimm Brothers/ Hans Christian Andersen are really historians, not fiction writers/ interviewers for folklore.
I like the concept, but I hope I have enough patience to go through with it. Also, time. I severely lack time. Which I shouldn't, because it's nearly the end of the school year, but I still severely lack time.
If I don't finish it this summer, I'll do it for NaNoWriMo 2011. And then it WILL get done because I WILL find the motivation... somewhere. In writing it? I don't know. Anyway, I have rehearsal today. It's the first full run through, and it's also the day where we learn the fight choreography. I'm in every fight. Go figure! The only scene I'm not in is the only scene where essentially nothing happens. Seriously, the blocking is just people standing on stage and looking deppressingly off at the back wall, where there is a 'photo' of me looking exceedingly dead.
Because I lost a two-on-one fight with a dagger against crowbars.
Wonderful, yes?

It's been a while...

So we went over scene four yesterday. I'll have you know that I'm now no longer (mostly) scared of the kiss. As of now, it is a cheek kiss (this may be subject to change at a later date). And I'm fine with it. Because I am.
And also, as the scene has now been run multiple times with small audiences, I'm no longer as nervous about doing it in front of people. It's part of the longest scene in the show (about a quarter of my lines are in scene four) and one of the largest scenes, so the audience was made up of other cast members looking out from backstage. And at the end when some people were waiting for rides home, they watched us run that bit again. Overall, though, it's PROGRESS, and progress is good. At least for this, anyway.
It was really awkward the first time we did our bit yesterday - I was rushing because I was nervous, and so I hit somewhere in between his mouth and his cheek. It was kind of an extreme fail. And by "kind of," I mean "REALLY." And my face was probably really red afterwards. And all during the entire bit, for that matter. I wouldn't know, though - I can't exactly see my own face very easily, and there weren't any mirrors around during rehearsal that I was aware of.
We run the scene again on Saturday, during the first full run through of the show. During the full run, we'll be blocking at least two scenes - scene five and scene ten. Since scene four is so big, we didn't get around to blocking scene five yesterday. Which is kind of annoying, but we'll survive.
I hope.
I'm pretty sure.
A lot of the blocking for scene five will come during fight rehearsals, which have yet to be scheduled, as far as I know. I'm probably going to have to show up at all of those rehearsals, too.
I don't mind, really. It's a lot easier to know which rehearsals to go to if I'm in basically every scene.

The Final Bit

Well, today in rehearsal we went over scene one (EXPOSITION!), scene three (where I meet ninjas), and the only bit of scene four (and the entire show) that I did not have memorized before today. And it was kind of awkward at the beginning, while we were still memorizing and stuff, but after we got off-book, the director had us run it with physical interaction (AND NOT THE TYPE OF PHYSICAL INTERACTION ALL YOU PERVS ARE THINKING ABOUT!), like dancing around and Dramatic Interpretation (for lack of a better term) and stuff like that. It was kind of funny.
I got comfortable to kiss him awkwardly on the cheek.
The reason I'm so scared of it's because I'm the one doing the kissing. I wouldn't be half as nervous if I were the one being kissed.
But there's nothing I can change about that now.
And now I'm fine with it and (mostly) not nervous.
The next time we have rehearsal is also the next time the entire scene is run. It will also be the first time the scene will be blocked (here meaning, people will find out for the first time where they are supposed to stand and stuff).
Sooo yeah.
Farewell for now.

Rehearsal: an update

Well, yesterday we finished the first set of scene-specific rehearsals.
Translation: basically everyone should be off-book starting today.
Translation: NO SCRIPTS ALLOWED FROM TODAY ON UNLESS YOU MISSED REHEARSAL EARLIER.
We've been through the show once, and everyone should be memorized.
Except for all of those really lame skipping skippers who skip, and also those loyal thespians that have attended EVERY rehearsal they have had to attend but who are nevertheless affected by the skipping of the skipping skippers who skip. For example me, in relation to the guy who plays the oldest Prince. The bit in scene four between me and him (THAT bit) is the only bit I haven't fully memorized.
The Prince actually showed up yesterday, which made everyone very happy.
He showed up late, however, by about 45 minutes. He arrived about 10 minutes after the director decided that she'd have to kick him out (it would've been the 3rd rehearsal he missed) and about 30 seconds before his last line of the first read-through. He got a round of applause, because he FINALLY showed up!
I also had to tell him from across the stage that he looked good with his shirt off during the next read-through.
And then I had to tell it to his face while jumping around doing energy run (where you jump around while saying lines and use lots of ENERGY!).
For some reason, jumping around on one foot and wildly gesturing while looking someone in the face and saying they look good shirtless makes it a lot easier to say it without a ton of embarassment (especially if they would ACTUALLY look good shirtless) - you look ridiculous and the line is ridiculous, so it goes together nicely.
I hope he can keep this up.
He now knows that I'm in the show and that I'm the main character, so I think that gives me full capability to go up to him and remind him about rehearsal tomorrow if I see him in the hall.

:P and :)

For a Monday, today has been okay. I think it's partly because I wore one of my pairs of lucky socks today. I'll need more luck tomorrow, though, because tomorrow I'm going to have to tell a guy that he looks really good with his shirt off, and I'm going to have to do it without blushing (though I'm allowed to laugh at myself a bit). It'll work well enough, I think, if he actually SHOWS UP. Of the two rehearsals he's had to attend so far, he's made an appearance at NONE of them (including the bit where I have to kiss him, which was okay by me then, but now I'm thinking that we should've gotten it over with so I can stop freaking out about it).
Also, this is the scene that EVERYONE has to go to.
Except for the guy who plays my grandfather.
But aside from him, EVERYONE has to be there.
Including the prince guy who has missed rehearsal twice.
I think scene ten - which is tomorrow - is one of the prince's bigger scenes (of the four that he's in), so it would kind of be counter-productive for everyone if he wasn't there. It wouldn't be as counter-productive for him to miss as it would be for me to miss, but still. It's kind of an important scene.
What's really annoying, though, is that there's a slimmer chance of him getting kicked out for missing rehearsal than there is for everyone else - he's one of three guys who could potentially have the part. All the rest of the guys (aside from those three) who could do it have a super massive Ultimate Frisbee tournament the weekend of the show, and their coach will NOT be happy if they miss it.
So yeah.
HAPPY SPRING!